Espen and the Great Fuckoff

Tobias, Espen and I were riding home one day, enjoying a peaceful silence, when Espen suddenly shrieked, "Fuckoff!!"

I looked at Tobias with accusation in my eyes.
He was already looking at me me with the same assumption.

"What have you been SAYING AROUND THE CHILD?!"

We sat in silence, trying not to move quickly and reveal that our brains had been pickled by an angelic looking 2 year old's potty mouth.

Espen grew more animated.

"Fuckoff! FUCKOFF!!!!" he insisted, rocking around in his car seat.

Silence continued as Tobias and I continued judging the hell out of each other's negligent parenting.

Then we noticed Espen pointing out the window.

"Fuckoff!!! Beep! Beep!!!!"

We were passing Home Depot.

And that's when I remembered that his Grandfather was inclined to take Espen to Home Depot to chase the forklifts and watch them take things up and down off shelves.

"Espen," I asked, slightly trembling, "Are you talking about forklifts?"

"Fuckoffs!!!! BEEP!!! BEEP!!!" Espen nodded enthusiastically, grinning and pointing towards the Depot.

Forklifts, indeed.