The first three weeks and some useful details

Tobias and I assumed that having a beautiful birth was the Great Goal to Be Achieved.  We figured that everything AFTER the birth would come as naturally as breathing, albeit with some sleepless nights to guide us on our Path to Parenthood.  We asked some questions in our midwife appointments like, "Is there anything essential we need to have or know before the Coming of The Bear?" and would walk away feeling like "It'll come naturally and be fine" were good foreshadowing answers to the ease with which our trajectory of Awesome Hippie Parents would continue after birth.

Espen,  for the record, the first three weeks have been pretty rife with fascinating challenges.  Also for the record, we've all been fairly awesome about them.  I wanted to write them down as factually as possible so you'd have an adult reference point if you should ever want to compare notes.  And now, without further ado, the facts, sir.

From the beginning, you were an eager latcher, going straight for the breast with natural ease.  By day two, my nipples were cracked and bleeding and there were many feedings that were so painful I was crying as I fed you.  This, we figured, was not quite the blissful breastfeeding picture which had been painted for us by our advisors.

Joy, our midwife, suggested a possible tongue-tie, which is when your frenum is attached so as to make it difficult to fully roll back the upper lip and/or tongue.  We spent the next day trying to ascertain where and how your upper frenum was attaching and came to the conclusion that it was well within the short category.  This apparently causes discomfort with breast-feeding because a baby can't open their mouth all the way to get a proper latch...it can also cause speech issues and digestive issues later on so we were keen to get it resolved.


The procedure is a simple and quick one involving a snip of the frenum which takes a second and doesn't bleed much and heals quickly.  Joy had performed several of these procedures and had consulted a specialist so we felt that a quick snip at home would be the most comfortable option for you.  We did that on Wednesday, day 3, for you.  I did Reiki on you and Danielle did cranio-sacral massage on you and you cried for about a minute, while Joy was holding the ice on your lip after the snip.  We expected that things would even out with the breast feeding after that, but we scheduled an appointment with the specialist, Bobak Ghaheri, for Friday (day 5) just to make sure we had completely addressed any potential tongue-tie issues.

That was our first outing from the house, which, you can be the judge of, in terms of how you like that, or what significance, if any, it may have.  I personally thought it was a little ridiculous but what can you do. We were at the end of our babymoon and we wanted to be able to breast feed, since by that point, I had started pumping to give my breasts a chance to heal but still keep you on the nipple juice.

Dr. Ghaheri asked me a few questions about breast feeding, like, "How does it feel?" and "How do your nipples look after a feeding?", checked inside your mouth, and said with no hesitation, "It's an upper and sub-lingual tongue tie."  He showed us how it looked inside your mouth and explained that tongue tie is far more common than most people suspect, in fact, his own daughter had been tongue tied.

The procedure he suggested, was using a laser to cut the frenums, which was a quick procedure, 1-2 minutes and would bleed minimally.  We felt confident that this was the best route to take as it was quick and as painless as possible...and then found out that we were not allowed in the room during the procedure because of OSHA rules (some medical governance body who probably doesn't want anxious, hovering parents getting in the way of doctors trying to work).  We didn't like that idea at all, but Joy, our fearless midwife, who came with us, asked if she could go with you and after checking, Dr. Ghaheri said that was within the guidelines.

Veering from the facts for a moment, I must confess, this was still a very heart-wrenching call, especially since we had to sit two doors down and just wait for about 7 minutes until we heard you wail and then a minute or two later, Joy came barreling into the room with you in here arms.  Good lord.  You got boob immediately and settled right down into a deep nap.

The follow up for the procedure involved us having to roll a finger back and forth over the wound sites 4-6 times per day for three weeks so the frenums wouldn't re-attach and the tissue would stay flexible.  Again, there are many things we would have preferred to give you 4-6 times a day besides putting our hands in your mouth and making you squirm. At the writing of this, we still have one week to go with the rolling and your lip and tongue have healed up nicely.  Now we are focusing on doing exercises to build your mouth strength and feeding you with our fingers and baby straws/re-introducing you to regular breast-feeding.  You've gotten mom juice the whole time so while the delivery system has varied over the last three weeks, the product has been 100% organic, made for you, food.

Now we are at the point where we are about 80% on finger feeding and 20% breast-feeding.  I'll be doing herbal supplementation to help the process along and I am very hopeful that we will be able to get to 100% breast-feeding...but either way, we're confident that you are getting the love and nutrition you need to thrive so regardless of how it all ends up looking, you're in good hands kiddo.