Week 41- Go Time and the Easter Bear Birth Story

Saturday, Tobias and I decided to eat at the Carver Cafe for breakfast and do a belly cast.  We've determined that the Bear is on his own schedule now and we will content ourselves with being patient and having some fun while waiting....the day could not have been more gorgeous...sunny, warm, like summertime.  We raked leaves into the burn pile, Tobi played around with the "jet pack", clearing an area for the compost and around the fire pit and we soaked in the goodness...good thing we did because that night, Easter Eve, the surges started becoming regular around 10.30pm.

I was content to bounce on the birthing ball and watch episodes of Smash and Glee and Once Upon A Time and just observe how the rushes felt...not uncomfortable, just tightening.

Around 4.30am we called Joy and said, "Probably come now.  We're about 4 minutes apart."  Over she and Danielle rolled and from that point on, the show was up and running.  The tub filled, the surges became more regular and intense, and the Bear, Tobi and I were on the adventure of a lifetime.  I plan on writing about this specifically in more depth, but for right now, I will simply say, it was an initiation on the most primal level.  There is no ceremony, no words, no incantations I have experienced or heard about, which touch the complete submersion of mind into body driven by soul.

To speak simply of the physical sensations would be unidimensional but I understand how it can be the focal point of cultural stories and popular belief.  They are total in their manifestation in the body. You can hypnotize yourself, yell through it, breathe through it or knock yourself out, but your body is still going to go through the monumental process of opening itself and shifting bone, muscle and sinew to create a passage for new life.  It is nature at its most instinctual. What you get to decide is how you aim to participate in the unfolding...

Surfing monster waves is a metaphor that comes to mind. You either catch the wave and ride it or it rides you and can drive you into the ocean floor or shoot you into the sky.  I grew up riding some pretty feisty horses and I can tell you that birth puts them all in the circus pony ring.

At 12.30pm on Easter Sunday, Espen Camino Eld-Mathis emerged, under water, in our bedroom, to a day that was bright, warm and filled with a flood of fulfillment.  The last ten months, all leading up to this moment...you uncurled under water in Tobias' hands, a delightful blueberry color, and after 10 or 15 seconds, we brought you into the air and right onto my chest where you opened your eyes and just STARED at us as you started to breathe. Again, this is something you can only know the full measure of if you experience it directly.  It's incredible. It's a titanic effort.  It's completely unbelievable.

One of the things I am most grateful for is that we were able to give you such a peaceful, conscious entry into the world.  I was never drugged, never screaming and able to completely engage in talking to you during the entire process.  We worked together to bring you into the world and the teamwork was powerful.  There was a moment near the end, when I reached down and felt the top of your head at the opening between inner world and outer world...talk about a game changer!  Tobias and I just stared at each other in disbelief and kept saying, "We're really having a baby! This is The Bear!"...as if all the rushes and body rocking up to this point had been for some other reason!

Needless to say, when you emerged, we were completely overjoyed and exhausted and the midwives bundled us into bed with you still attached to your cord.  We kept you attached for three hours to make sure you got all the good blood and nutrients you could and then I cut our cord myself after thanking you for the time and space we had shared for the last ten months and you became fully embodied as YOU as we held you in our arms.

You weighed 8 pounds and 13 ounces and were 21.5 inches long with a complete head of dark hair. So flipping cute!  Tobias and I are completely in love with you and within minutes, you were sucking your thumb and had latched on to nurse.

Our adventure is just beginning Bear, and I hope you like the spelling of your name.  Tobi and I had many debates about it being Esben or Espen and the reason we chose the latter is because it is easier for English speakers to get the sound right...oh the things to keep in mind when you are an international kid!

Of course we're having all the magical things done too, like determining your Card of Destiny, having your astrology chart read, chinese animal and mayan calendar animal...so you should be set for World Fluency in no time...