He grabs his toes and hates naps

I am writing this now listening to my astrological profile while listening to The Bear protest against his nap which he very clearly needs.

Yesterday he learned how to grab his toes and has been obsessively kicking his feet, grabbing them, and looking very pleased with himself.  There are so many things changing these days, so many new skills and milestones that it's no wonder sleep seems like the last thing he would want to do.

On top of that, he's also rearing and bucking around alot with nursing throughout the day...and forgetting to let go of my boob.  This is sort of like having a chinese torture chamber on your nipple that refuses to let go.  When the gravity of his head finally pulls him off, I swear you can hear the 'pop'. True.

Days like today remind me that sometimes the line between pleasure and pain is very fine indeed.  It is good to remind myself that I am in a situation entirely because of my actions so whether I enjoy the result or not, it is up to me to make more of the same or try something different.

The traction we had gained in easier bedtimes has been lost in the trauma of naptime and nothing really seems to be working consistently. I have tried to stick to an "Every two hours from when he wakes" schedule, but unless I want to let him cry for an hour straight, that philosophy doesn't always work.  Then we end up in an endless spiral of waiting an hour and trying again to see if he'll go for it this time.  Add that on top of a distractible eater and well, it could make the days abit, ahem, challenging.

Oh, The Bear loves being awake and playing, it's just the going down for naps and eating that he's not too keen on.  So right now, it looks like the sleepless starvation philosophy is what The Bear prefers. Unfortunately, I've got the dubious task of helping him discover the art of compromise. So far what we have landed on is 10-20 minutes of crying unless he miraculously passes out on the boob at one of the lucky feeding sessions that last longer than ten minutes.

As all good parents know, and to be honest, I'm starting to think that anyone who doesn't swear and cry  at their children are good parents, we just want our kids to have as gentle an experience of life as possible.  Some days this seems much closer than others.  Still, when Espen flashes his "MOM, you RESCUED me!" smile, I just want to keep him awake and feed him on sunshine as long as he wants. Lordy Lord.