My baby is apparently going through what they call a "sleep regression". I only quote this because I was forced to run to the interwebs for some kind of explanation after the second night of Espen waking after 4 hours of sleep and screaming inconsolably for 3 hours. That was over a week ago. Repeat performances have continued, yea, increased, in intensity and frequency every day since then.
Naps are a thing of the past. It is breath-taking how quickly a tiny human can go from having two regular 1-2 hour naps every day to NADA...or at the very best, 30 minutes whilst strapped in the Ergo Baby after being awake for 6 hours straight. (Normal length of time between waking and first nap was MAX 3 hours heretofore)
Whereas before this descenrt into waking purgatory commenced, my baby was remarkably coordinated, accurate, and sunny, he has transformed into a stumbling, erratic, emotional tornado. He has retained some of his earlier developmental quirks, such as crawling with his wooden ball in one hand, which produces the peg-leg-crawler phenomenon. Think bi-polar pirate. He yaarrrghs, gnashes his two teeth, howls, and flails around yowling baby profanity to anyone who is within earshot. He's your best friend one minute and your mortal enemy the next.
Internet wisdom informs me that this is due to his brain going at warp 9 in a mad attempt to connect dendrites flapping about in his baby brain. I firmly expect to wake up one of these mornings to Espen standing by my side asking me for breakfast in Danish. Of course, this could take anywhere from 2 to 6 weeks to be completed, but it'll be worth it.
Only thing is, it's pretty sad to see tired babies lurching about drunkenly, unable to just sleep despite all efforts and attempts to induce some shut-eye. Espen gets this sort of crazed, red-rimmed glaze in his eyes that seems to say, "Sleepy....must...close....OHMYGOODNESSLOOKATTHATMIRROR!!!....sooo tired.....AAAAAA!!!MAKINGSOUNDSLIKEMOM!!!" It's fairly tragic.
Granted, there are some small upsides to this desert of sleeplessness. One is that he now sits still long enough to read him books. Another is that he now tolerates cuddles. Still further, is the fact that he has become deeply needful of being in Tobias' and my presence at all times. By that I mean, he wants to be held NOW MOM. MORE. Sweet baby.
I haven't been this tired in a real long time. It's like a second go at having a newborn.
Having a baby, this baby, is like being addicted to Bikram Yoga. For those of you who don't know what this is, it's doing yoga in 110 degrees for 90 minutes. At any point in time, you inevitably ask yourself, "WHY am I doing this at 6am?!" And then you look down and realize you're touching parts of your feet you could never EVER reach in a normally heated world. You sweat like a pig, get way more flexible than you'd normally be, and come back for more the next day, even though you feel like you've just had all the electrolytes sucked out of your body by salt vampires. You do it because it makes you feel high in a natural, self-induced kind of way.
Ahhhh, conscious insomnia and exhaustion. Is there anything better?
Even so, for Espen's sake, I hope he finds his way to verbal expression, walking, or whatever Major Development he's working on, real soon. Everyone knows that being sleep deprived is just as influential as being intoxicated. I am just glad he's so close to the ground and relatively spongy. In the meantime, it's Ergo babies and grandparents to the rescue for those moments when Tobias and I have used all the tricks in our bag and the Pirate Child is still knocking back the rum and yelling out drinking songs at the top of his lungs at 3 am.
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