Week 37- Thumbkin Proud Flesh Goes For A Coup

Ok, Bear,

I have to apologize for becoming obsessed with healing my thumb.  It has really gotten a bit out of control, namely because it JUST KEEPS GROWING.  It's like I have another thumb.  All of the soaking and herbs from Dr. Kou rousted the infection (yay no antibiotics!) but has resulted in Dr. Buhl saying things like, "WOW! The one thing you don't want to be is interesting to a doctor and I can tell you, I've never seen anything like this." Oh yeah? Well ME NEITHER and it's on MY HAND.

We finally got a diagnosis from him of Proud Flesh which apparently is an over-exhuberant healing reaction that grows you a bunch of collagen rich tissue and an accompanying horde of blood vessels to supply its growth to cover the wounded area.  Which means, blood bath.  BECAUSE, the treatment is to remove, i.e. cut back the tissue and cauterize (BURN) it to stop the rapid growth and encourage a more sedate healing.  Apparently being pregnant and having hormones that scream GROW STUFF is another helpful element in this.

I am, quite simply, fascinated and completely over-stimulated by this medical adventure.  This is how it goes down.

Dr. Buhl takes a look, says "Ok, bring me cutters and silver nitrate and blah blah blah gauze, gloves etc"

I say, "I want to watch. Don't worry, I am fine around blood."

Dr. Buhl says, "Cool.  Lay on your side and let Tobias stand behind you to make sure you don't fall off the table."

And the slicing begins.  See how big it is? Yes, the good doctor was sending it off to pathology to check out this freak of medical nature.



The slicing was fine actually.  Didn't really hurt at all, which, he informed me smiling, is typical of proud flesh.  Then the bleeding began.  We're talking spurting fountains of blood pulsing out the end of my thumb to the beat of my heart.  I'll admit, that was a new one.

Then, realizing the chemical cautery is not working, Dr. Buhl calls for the Electric Hyper Zapping Blood Stopping Machine and I start to feel a bit fuzzy as the electric shocks go right into the open wound.  It felt like being tattooed on a sunburn, which, as your parent, I hope you only experience if you are REALLY PASSIONATE about whatever you're getting inked. And not til you're 18.

I waved my head around a bit weakly and said, "I don't feel awesome."  which prompted him to command Tobias to run into the hall and call a nurse.  Next thing I hear is "Nurse!!"

Who comes running in with SMELLING SALTS and flashes them under my nose.  Try inhaling the fixer in hair dye if you want to know what THAT experience was like.  Lordy Lord.

After that, Dr. Buhl decided to inject Thumbkin with Novocaine to  numb him up and then spent the next 15 minutes cauterizing the hell out of my thumb until it looked like I'd stuck it in an electrical socket and left it unattended for hours.  The bleeding, however, had stopped.

SO.  All of this to say, this week has been utterly hijacked by Thumbkin Proud Flesh and his assault on normal thumbery...which has stolen my attention away from you except in the quiet moments before I drift off to sleep from over-stimulation and medical high-jinks.  You've gotten your share of adrenaline rich blood during  this time and I can tell you, you are an amazing amazing spirit for working through all of this with such a good nature.

I visited Dr. Carin Bocskray this week to talk about the emotional and spiritual work needing to be done and cleared around this experience, so rest assured,  I am doing my best to address all aspects of this eleventh hour physical manifestation.  I am determined to continue my own evolution even as you continue yours so we can separately and collectively move ever deeper into the light.