I feel a mixture of emotions at this stage...anticipation, nervousness, wonder, fear, hope, disbelief...it's like swamp water in terms of coming up with a clear over riding taste. Bear has done everything I've asked in terms of clearing energy and working with my intentions for the pregnancy...we've been a great team...now I feel like it's my turn to return the trust we've established...to step up to the plate and say YES, ok, I am ready to do this with you Bear...this, most exciting, untried territory we've ever been on. I do not know how it will feel, nor how it will impact either of us, but I am willing to surrender now to the experience.
It's easy for me to see how women can slip into a "this-is-happening-TO-me" consciousness when approaching and engaging with the birthing process...it feels like getting dumped on Mt. Everest with all your gear and no guide....the winds are blowing, the sky is magnificent, the world is at your feet and you must move...up or down, you must take steps. And then, if you are lucky and brave, you remember that YOU are your guide, that you have been training for this your whole life, that you have memorized routes and exposed your body to mountains as long as you can remember...and even though this is its own mountain with its own secrets and challenges, you are as ready as you will ever be.So, here I stand on Everest, my good sense telling me that it's fine, my senses themselves overloaded with input and the newness of MASSIVE on an unfamiliar scale. I'm going into this with my eyes wide open and the intention to be right HERE with it all, whatever the outcome and sensations along the way. No running back down the mountain, but running upwards to welkin.
Fear I name you and smile. Hope, I embrace you and dance. Body, I thank you and am in awe. Bear, I love you and am humbled.
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